Jobless Corner

Hi guys, sorry for the long period of in activity at Joblessorner, I had literally been buried under a lot of work commitments. I know, I know, you are probably wondering how and I am still at our Joblesscorner. Got a load of contractual work and I can say that it is hard hustling in this Kenya of ours, especially when you have more than 3 bosses with strict instructions.

I had the opportunity to develop egoimagekenya that provides you with the latest gossip around East Africa. I will add that it was an interesting opportunity to work with SD on this project. Go ahead and read more about egoimagekenya.

Now, back to some interesting stuff here at Joblesscorner people.

There are two cows in a field, one says: “Mooooo,” the other says: “You cow! I was about to say that.” Not the sort of thing you would imagine saying at an interview but it helped Kelly secure a job as a PR manager.

“The interviewer had been trying to unnerve me all the way through by being really confrontational, then asked me to tell a joke. I later discovered all new starters were expected to repeat the joke that got them the job to everyone in the company on their first day. Obviously only those who managed to come up with something were successful.”

Being asked to do this is becoming common for PR and sales jobs, but is not just confined to them. One of the jokes below was told during an interview for a job with an investment bank.

The standard advice that counsels against telling jokes in interviews is not a lot of use when faced with a request for one. So to make sure you’re prepared, here’s a list of 10 jokes that have resulted in job offers.

The first four are the safest. The next five could receive a mixed response. The final one is an example of what to avoid. Swearing is unanimously regarded as best avoided but worse still is anything that hints at a negative attitude to management - not a laughing matter. Use at your own risk.

Top 10

1. Did you hear about the two men who were stopped by the police for being drunk and disorderly? It turned out that the first had been drinking battery acid and the second had been swallowing fireworks. One was charged and the other was let off.
2. An American was going for a job interview in the English countryside and on the way out he asked a local farmer for directions, “Excuse me dude, could you possibly tell me the quickest way to London?” The farmer said: “You driving or walking, lad?” The American replied: “Driving.” The farmer nodded, saying: “Yup, definitely the quickest way.”
3. I was driving along in my car, when my boss rang up and said: “You’ve been promoted.” That made me swerve a bit. Then he rang up a second time and said: “You’ve been promoted again.” I swerved even more. When he rang a third time and said: “You’re now managing director,” I went into a ditch. A policeman came up and asked: “What happened to you?” I replied: “I careered off the road.”
4. A ragged piece of string went into a pub and asked for a drink. “Are you over 18?” asked the barman. “No,” replied the string, “I’m a frayed knot.”
5. A visitor to a monastery was being shown round by the abbot when a monk shouted out: “64!” All the other monks roared with laughter. Another then called out “15″, again much laughter. “What’s going on?” asked the visitor. “They know each other’s jokes inside out,” said the abbott. “So rather than tell them each time, they’ve numbered them. If one calls out a number, they think of the joke and laugh. Have a go…” The visitor called out “45″ and there was a small ripple of polite laughter. “I’m afraid,” said the Abbot, “that’s not very funny, try again.” So the visitor called out “56″ and there was uproar. “Must have been a good joke.” “Yes,” said the abbot wiping his eyes. “And we’ve never heard it before.”
6. Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean?
   They found out that deep down they’re really not so bad.
7. How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb?
   None - they form a self-help group called “how to cope with life in the dark”.
8. What do you call a woman with one leg?
   Eileen.
9. You can always tell a Yorkshireman, but you can’t tell him much.
10. How many managers does it take to change a light bulb?
    Five - One to notice that it needs changing, one to prepare a budget, one to sign it off, one to order it from supplies and one to tell their secretary it needs replacing.